My baby is growing way too fast :(

Well my baby is three months going on four! Time is flying, I miss her being little but at the same time I love seeing her grow! She now has two teeth! I love my life as a mommy!

My princess is 2 months old!!

My beautiful princess has turn two months! She surprises me everyday. She loves to talk to her toys, play with her toys, and smiles and giggles all day long. I'm very thankful for such a happy and healthy baby. I'm very blessed to be her mommy. She is now almost 13lbs! So proud of my princess!!

My princess is a month now!!!!

I am beyond happy, since the day my lil baby became a lil bean in my tummy she has filled our hearts with joy. Every single day that I have spend with her has been a blessing and the more & more to come. Becoming a mom was the best choice I have ever made. Looking at her sweet face every day is the best feeling in the world my baby is a month now!!

I'm going to be a mommy!!!

I have been away for awhile but had to come back, because the good news made me want to write every single thing coming my way.  God has blessed me witht the most greatest gift, to be a mother to one of his creation. I cant wait to know if its a girl or a boy, if baby looks like mommy or daddy. All I know is that is changing my life already, I already love my life more. My mornings are bright and my nights are so warm. My love for life & the strenght to strive for a better future gets higher. I want to offer my baby a life full of joys, I know life is not a fairytale, but will teach my baby to smile thru the pain. Because we have a God that gives us a precious life. I want my sweet baby to love God, for our precious gift, our LIFE. I'm a new mommy and nervous and a little scared of many things. But month by month I will learn more.. Cant wait to continue writing thru my pregnancy <3

So lately I been a little stress :(........

Today May 1, 2011 is a rainy and gloomy day in Oklahoma. Days like this make me think more about life, and see my goals to persue. I been so stress lately, reason why? well my major reason is finding a good stable job. Ever since surgery it has been so hard to find a job, I am currently working at Victoria Secret, but honestly that is just a side part time job. I love to work and keep myself busy, and this job only gives me few hours a week. Not only that, my medical bills are getting bigger and bigger. I'm very ambitious and with very little patience. Even tho before, my patience was fully charge, but lately my patience has been so low. I'm going to apply at different jobs tomorrow, hopefully I have good luck! I know it is easy to find a job at restaurants and fast food, but that's not what i'm looking for. Anyways another thing I been thinking today is that I can't wait to be out of Oklahoma. If you don't know, Oklahoma is ugly, plane, with alot of lazy people. I want a city with activities during the day, at night time, I want to see the city lights. And want to feel the breeze from the beach. I love the artistic life, love walking thru malls outside, walking to every place. Kinda like New York, but def. a smaller city than that. We are thinking Austin, TX. My fiance and I came to the conclusion that we will try to move after we get married,  but yet it seems so long :(  Ahhhhh well i'm going to finish my little blog, of my little stressing moment :) Hope to write a new blog soon about my happy life on top of those days of stressing :)

This is Austin, TX. Looks very beautiful

This is a house in Austin, Tx. Of course we can't afford that yet, but that just my kinda home :)

One of my goal is to visit Africa one day.....

I been saying it for years that I want to visit African to help and love those poor kids with hunger. This trip is in my agenda. And I won't stop until I reach it. I see many videos, and in their little eyes I see sadness, I see hunger, I see the need of love. When I see them, I realize how much we complain. We complain about our bed not having the best matress, while they sleep on the ground. We complain we dont have the new Chanel shoes, while they are barefoot. We complain how food is so nasty, while they go to sleep with hunger. We complain how much we hate school, while they wish they could learn. We complain our parents protect us, while they wish their parents were there. I stop and think to myself, how many Children around the world suffer everyday. It brakes my heart to think about it. And I know one day I will make it there, to give them smile. I know that my heart will have joy to see them smile. I will pray for them everyday, and for me to have the chance one day.......

New shot of life, thank you God

Many may not know the news I got before Cristmas of 2010. Let me start of by saying that I'm so thankful for another shot of life. Two years ago I started having some pain in my lower abs, as many girls will say "ahhh these cramps are killing me" and that's exactly what I would say each time I had pain. April of 2010 I was at my best weight with such a flat tummy, but then the following month my weight started picking up. I thought I was just going thru so much and didn't notice what I was eating. I started to excercise more often and started a very strict diet. You can see me slim down but I still had a belly. Was I mad? yes I was mad because I was dedicated and this stomach would'nt get flat again. I knew I would be in Cancun in August, and I wanted to wear my two piece, So what did I do? I went back to my old life and started fasting for weeks straight, lettuce, water and nothing else. When I got to Cancun my stomach was somehow ok, not at my best!! but I notice I was too weak and the pain was so often. I dislike being in pain all the time. When I got back from Cancun I notice when I lay down I had a belly like if I was pregnant. It frustuated me so much. I met the love of my life and together we started working out and on his diet of eating six times a day. December 13, 2010 I had such a bad plain and heavily bleeding. I went to work but left five minutes after I had to go to the Dr. right away. I got to the doctor and they started and ultrasound. Her words "your pregnant, but you have somehting else that is a terrible news" I started crying and said what is it? she said "if it is what I think you won't last 6 months" my whole world fell deep down. I also thought of my baby inside me. She said I'm going to make emergency calls to take you in right way. My fiance left work and rush to take me whever I needed to be, they would'nt let me drive. When I got to the specialist he soon also did an ultrasound to see with his own eyes. My fiance had to leave go to work, I stayed there by myself. When he looked at it, I did not like the look in his eyes I asked what did he think, he said "get dressed we wil talk after" at  the moment my eyes couldn't stop in tears. He walk in, these were his exact words "I'm sorry you have to go thru this at a young age, you are going to be mad, sad, ask God why you?, you will get depress, it's a hard news to take and please next time you come bring the person you love or that you trust to go thru the procedure" my only thing that came to mind is to ask him if i was going to die? he said "everybody dies in this world" so at the moment I knew I could possible die. Came home in tears stayed in my room, talk to my mom thru the phone because she was in Arizona. My pain was too much, I was even throwing up acid. My life completely stop, my goals, my wedding, my baby inside. They told me I had Cancer and that my baby won't survive thru surgery, I had a miscarage. I had many people call me, my family that I haven't spoken to me for awhile. My friends and even my friend Gracie's mom. My fiance was the most supportive man any girl could ever imagine, I can truly say if it wasn't for him, i would probably already been gone from here. So after a few days, I got up did my make up, started cleaning the house and said "if i'm going to die, I wnat to live my last days as happy as I can" The moment I got closer to God, I never said why me, instead I said God you know what you are doing, I leave it to your hands. I was sent to the Cancer Institute, First thing the doctor said as she walked in "did someone told you, ou have Cancer" I looked at my fiance and said yes..She said "how could they say that to you without proves on their hands, your are 21 years old and I can tell you right now, as a Cancer doctor I don't think you have Cancer but we will do futher test" comes to be I do have an almost 10 pound tumor that made me look like I was seven months pregnant, but it was NOT Cancer. I needed surgery then hopefully everything will be ok. Thanks to God, he never let go of my hand. But he did gave me a wake up call to apreciate this beautiful life. I had surgery February 21, I had my loves. My mom, fiance, and nieces where at the hospital for when I open my eyes. It might come back or it might not.Even tho I have a big scar, I dont mind, because my life is more precious than a scar in my stomach. But now I love my life more, I threw away all the hate in my heart, started living my life healthy and with God in my heart. Thanks to my fiance my life is full of happiness and joy. "We never know when our lifes can be taken, so love one another, dnt take a day for granted, never go to sleep mad" Even tho I didn't get to meet that baby inside me(i know he would of been precious), he/she left a mark forever.....this would probably will be the longest blog ever, thank you for reading :) xoxo