Many may not know the news I got before Cristmas of 2010. Let me start of by saying that I'm so thankful for another shot of life. Two years ago I started having some pain in my lower abs, as many girls will say "ahhh these cramps are killing me" and that's exactly what I would say each time I had pain. April of 2010 I was at my best weight with such a flat tummy, but then the following month my weight started picking up. I thought I was just going thru so much and didn't notice what I was eating. I started to excercise more often and started a very strict diet. You can see me slim down but I still had a belly. Was I mad? yes I was mad because I was dedicated and this stomach would'nt get flat again. I knew I would be in Cancun in August, and I wanted to wear my two piece, So what did I do? I went back to my old life and started fasting for weeks straight, lettuce, water and nothing else. When I got to Cancun my stomach was somehow ok, not at my best!! but I notice I was too weak and the pain was so often. I dislike being in pain all the time. When I got back from Cancun I notice when I lay down I had a belly like if I was pregnant. It frustuated me so much. I met the love of my life and together we started working out and on his diet of eating six times a day. December 13, 2010 I had such a bad plain and heavily bleeding. I went to work but left five minutes after I had to go to the Dr. right away. I got to the doctor and they started and ultrasound. Her words "your pregnant, but you have somehting else that is a terrible news" I started crying and said what is it? she said "if it is what I think you won't last 6 months" my whole world fell deep down. I also thought of my baby inside me. She said I'm going to make emergency calls to take you in right way. My fiance left work and rush to take me whever I needed to be, they would'nt let me drive. When I got to the specialist he soon also did an ultrasound to see with his own eyes. My fiance had to leave go to work, I stayed there by myself. When he looked at it, I did not like the look in his eyes I asked what did he think, he said "get dressed we wil talk after" at the moment my eyes couldn't stop in tears. He walk in, these were his exact words "I'm sorry you have to go thru this at a young age, you are going to be mad, sad, ask God why you?, you will get depress, it's a hard news to take and please next time you come bring the person you love or that you trust to go thru the procedure" my only thing that came to mind is to ask him if i was going to die? he said "everybody dies in this world" so at the moment I knew I could possible die. Came home in tears stayed in my room, talk to my mom thru the phone because she was in Arizona. My pain was too much, I was even throwing up acid. My life completely stop, my goals, my wedding, my baby inside. They told me I had Cancer and that my baby won't survive thru surgery, I had a miscarage. I had many people call me, my family that I haven't spoken to me for awhile. My friends and even my friend Gracie's mom. My fiance was the most supportive man any girl could ever imagine, I can truly say if it wasn't for him, i would probably already been gone from here. So after a few days, I got up did my make up, started cleaning the house and said "if i'm going to die, I wnat to live my last days as happy as I can" The moment I got closer to God, I never said why me, instead I said God you know what you are doing, I leave it to your hands. I was sent to the Cancer Institute, First thing the doctor said as she walked in "did someone told you, ou have Cancer" I looked at my fiance and said yes..She said "how could they say that to you without proves on their hands, your are 21 years old and I can tell you right now, as a Cancer doctor I don't think you have Cancer but we will do futher test" comes to be I do have an almost 10 pound tumor that made me look like I was seven months pregnant, but it was NOT Cancer. I needed surgery then hopefully everything will be ok. Thanks to God, he never let go of my hand. But he did gave me a wake up call to apreciate this beautiful life. I had surgery February 21, I had my loves. My mom, fiance, and nieces where at the hospital for when I open my eyes. It might come back or it might not.Even tho I have a big scar, I dont mind, because my life is more precious than a scar in my stomach. But now I love my life more, I threw away all the hate in my heart, started living my life healthy and with God in my heart. Thanks to my fiance my life is full of happiness and joy. "We never know when our lifes can be taken, so love one another, dnt take a day for granted, never go to sleep mad" Even tho I didn't get to meet that baby inside me(i know he would of been precious), he/she left a mark forever.....this would probably will be the longest blog ever, thank you for reading :) xoxo
